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Tuesday, August 28, 2007 

Starting from scratch...

It's been just over 3 months since finishing the camino.

The tube of toothpaste I bought in Samos is almost empty and it feels like my heart is the same.

Perhaps it is the change of weather that makes the world feel so grey. Each morning I continue my walking, the days seem to become more grey, and the autumn makes the air more brisk.

It is very difficult to hold onto the camino feeling, to hold the spirit of adventure and faith in the world when you find yourself once again in that bubble of your life, the daily grind of your routine. Time has this funny way of fading sense memories; this time, I tried very hard to sustain my optimism and pride, and all-round sense of "Life!" but I can literally feel the camino being squeezed out of me, just like the tube of Spanish toothpaste.

A while ago, I had enough energy to realize that I wanted to challenge myself again. I wanted to find my next project to conquer, the next injection of life that would invigorate my spirit and make me proud to be alive.

I pray that the powers that be will send me a yellow arrow to guide my way, but more so, I hope that I can let my eyes be open to the scallop sign so that I may once again feel confident on my path.

"Thank you for giving me the strength and the guidance to make it this far; please bless the all the pilgrims before me, and all the pilgrims after me..."

Buen camino my friends, I'm still thinking of you, and wish you strength and comfort, even if it feels like it never happened, we all know it did. Continue to remind yourself of that...

Wednesday, August 1, 2007 

Camino footsteps

So it's already been just over TWO months since arriving in Santiago.

In the last month, the tatt has healed up nicely, and I've been able to connect with a few fellow pilgrims via email, and even got to see Denise & Kelly in person while they were in town at the beginning of July!

Still keeping up with the walking. I haven't been able to force myself to walk during the work day (as many things seem to interrupt or deter me from being able to walk in the afternoon like I would like) so I have taken to getting up at around 6:30 am and walking along the river or to a café for a quick coffee and muffin, and then walk back. It only takes half an hour to an hour (depending on where I go) back and forth, but it is very calming.

Then on the weekends I've been walking to mum's which is about 10 km. I haven't been doing the full 20km like I want to in the last two weeks, because mum & I end up going out for brekkie, but I will have to start do the 10 km back home soon. It might be even better when it cools down.

The best part about the walking though is that I am not in a rush anymore and I enjoy walking leisurely. This is something very different from how I viewed walking before - like a project. Now it is more like a gift to myself and I look forward to it every morning.

I've tried really hard to hold onto that feeling of invincibility - the thought of being able to conquer anything that comes my way. It's not been easy, to stay open and relaxed about life, but when it comes down to it, real life is definitely different from camino life.

Whatever the case maybe, all I can do is keep walking.


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